A Life in the Police

My Story


After thirty years service I retired despising the Police and what it had done to me.

I told no one I was leaving, I just walked out and never looked back.

I did have an amazing send off in the end that left me a blubbering wreck, but that had nothing to do with the Police.

I know I made a difference and that, my friends, is all that really matters.

Police Sign


For thirty years, my mouth has been trussed up tighter than a Member of Parliaments gimp mask. Now it's time to talk.
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Joining the Police

Joining the Police

I was just 19 years of age and wanted join to join the Police. I was hoping to be part the filth, the black bastards, a copper, a pig.
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I see dead people message

I See Dead People

The one thing I never, ever got used to in the job was death and dealing with dead bodies. I hated it. It scared me stiff (probably the wrong word).
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Handcuffs on suspect

The Yorkshire Ripper

I had sat next to the Yorkshire Ripper in the car but decided asking for an autograph was not really professional and it was before we did selfies of everything.
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Dishforth Police Training

Learning to be a Police Officer

Why anyone would want to sneak into Dishforth where two hundred police recruits wanted to test drive their one foot mahogany and rosewood sticks
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self defence classes

Getting fit is killing me

Our fitness training was given by a psychotic hoodie who liked ripping the legs off puppy dogs for a bit of fun.
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Old Police Constable


After bonding we had classes to help fit the various body parts back together and stop that red stuff seeping out
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Entrance to Dishforth police training camp

Final Week of Police Training

I remember giving the hand grenade to the alligator and sending it out in the station yard to fetch.. It helped me pass my final police exam.
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